Ego Be Gone

In this excerpt from John Will’s book Passion and Purpose: ROGUE BLACK BELT (Book 3), he looks at the dangers of an untamed ego.

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As Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu is a submission-based art, the fight continues until one of the combatants concedes defeat by 'tapping out'. For the BJJ fighter, tapping is just part and parcel of the everyday training session, but for many of the other fighters dropping in to 'test their skills', tapping was a totally foreign concept. The more skilled of us - those higher ranks who could exercise a more complete control over their opponents - would usually choose to finish with a choke; this way if the opponent didn't 'tap out' they would just slip into unconsciousness and suffer no lasting effects. At other times it was necessary to 'pop' their elbows or shoulders before they would concede defeat. We started stocking the fridge with bags of ice.

 

As a Purple-belt, it quite often fell upon me to 'step up' and take on a challenger. If for some reason I didn't prevail, the next highest rank would take my place and so on. Those were interesting times and although everyone was warmly welcomed when they first dropped by, many left with their arms in a sling and their egos badly battered. We even had a sign put up stating our position on the matter, it simply read: 'Leave your ego at the door'. This didn't prove to be very effective, as the challengers still kept coming and they seemed as reluctant to tap as ever. Another motto was added, under the first, in an effort to more clearly state our position: 'I am a shark, the mat is my ocean - and you don't even know how to swim'. That didn't work either!

 

One day, a challenger by the name of Stephanos walked in. He was one of the biggest people I have ever seen. His biceps were bigger than my legs and he didn't carry an ounce of fat. In fact, as he walked onto the mat dressed only in shorts, his muscles were twitching and jumping like a prize racehorse. Stephanos, a former member of the Greek Greco-roman wrestling team, had moved to LA and was working as full-time bodyguard; he was a monster of a man.

 

"Go and fight him," Rigan said, and so I stepped onto the mat as the rest of the class looked on. I didn't want to wait because I had never fought anyone that huge before, and so I shot in for a double-leg. Stephanos immediately sprawled hard, putting an end to my takedown, and he locked his arm around my neck as I struggled to back out and fade back to my guard. His grip was like a vice and it only took a second for me to realise I was not going escape. Sensibly, though reluctantly, I tapped out. Stephanos smiled and shook my hand. "One more time," said Rigan from the side of the mat, and so we went again. Mad at myself for not pulling off my double-leg, I decided to try again. My stupidity was again rewarded by another vice-like front choke; again, I had to tap. "That's enough," said Rigan, and I left the mat feeling shame at having let my coach down.

 

Cesar Gracie, being the next highest rank (a Brown-belt) stepped onto the mat, but not before heading to the closet and pulling out the biggest gi top he could find. He handed it to Stephanos, telling him to put it on, as it was bad manners to come onto the mat wearing only shorts. Stephanos was a nice guy and complied, even though the largest uniform in the school would barely fit over his massive torso.

 

The match started and Cesar immediately took a grip of the gi, and fell to his back pulling Stephanos into his guard. In seconds Cesar had secured a strong double-lapel choke and Stephanos was forced to tap out. Cesar jumped up with a grin on his face and threw his hands into the air. I remember thinking, "That's a bit over the top", particularly since Stephanos had walked onto the mat with a good attitude and friendly demeanour.

So with the match now over, and Stephanos smiling despite his loss, everyone piled onto the mat and we all began wrestling. Rigan, after tapping Stephanos out numerous times, took a few minutes to teach him some basic Jiu-Jitsu concepts before the class came to an end. Everyone left with a warm feeling; with the exception of myself. I was still feeling bad about my loss to our monster of a friend.

 

When the last of the class has walked out, I asked Rigan what I could have done better in the match. He took me back onto the mat and spent 30 minutes showing me my mistakes and teaching me the counters and escapes to the front choke that Stephanos had finished me with. Cesar, meanwhile, had left feeling great about his victory. This was a big turning point for me personally; especially when Rigan carefully explained that the vast proportion of our learning takes place by making mistakes and correcting them. "Cesar won the bout," he said, "but you learned the lesson." And that was the day I finally learned to be okay with 'tapping out'; looking back, I think it was one of the most pivotal moments in my early BJJ training.

 

John B Will is head of BJJ Australia and teaches Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, shootfighting and self-defence solutions around the world. To catch his regular blog, go to www.bjj-australia.blogspot.com