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In last issue's column, I discussed the development of the warrior mindset. A key to this is recognising and controlling emotion.
There's a saying in sales that people buy on emotion but justify on logic. Those in marketing know that people will generally purchase a non-essential item (and sometimes essential goods, too) based on how it makes them feel, but when asked to elaborate on why they made that choice, they will give logical, after-the-fact reasons.
This human characteristic isn't restricted to purchase decisions; it drives most of our decision making. So to really persuade someone of something, you need to deal with the emotions and realise that logic may support your argument but is secondary.
This also relates to a specific issue I'm dealing with in a self-defence system, in which sparring or fighting is not a prominent feature in the grading process. There is a move to place a much greater emphasis on the ability to ‘fight', meaning dealing with a non-compliant, resistive partner. The resistance from some instructors centres on the logic that as a self-defence system we don't ‘fight', we deal with the threat, physically if necessary, with techniques from the system, and then escape. It is not the purpose of the system to make us all into ‘cage fighters', or so the counter-argument goes.
As with all arguments dealing with real-world issues, there is an element of truth in this. But the elements of truth are simply that: elements. It is not the whole picture. This is a challenge that many instructors invariably face in dealing with the concerns and fears of new and inexperienced students in regard to fighting, especially where there is a possibility of harm.
These people are threatened at the personal or ego level by the notion they are going to have to prove themselves by fighting. It is emotionally safer for these people to feel that in a grading all they are required to do is demonstrate technique with a semi-compliant partner in order to pass. A failure in such a grading is simply a technical failure. But if they must pit themselves against another in a fight as part of the grading process, then this puts their ego (and thus their identity) on the line. Or at least, that's how they see it, and that brings up anxiety and fear.
Now, these other instructors are not going to admit to that, even if they are aware of it. As with a sales decision but in reverse, they will, at a subliminal level, have their negative emotional reaction to the notion of having to fight - then, after the fact, they will justify that position with a logical argument that avoids all mention of their personal concerns.
Arguing the logic of the need to include fighting to demonstrate trainees' capabilities against a resistive and non-compliant partner is the relatively easy bit. At the technical level, such a test will demonstrate their ability to react to attacks or opportunities with little warning and to adapt to a continually changing situation. It will test the robustness of their technique and their ability to string techniques together in a smooth manner ‘on the fly'. Psychologically, it can be a test of mental toughness; a depiction of their level (or lack) of courage and determination.
As German military theorist Carl von Clausewitz once said, "Courage, above all things, is the first quality of a warrior."
It is most informative of a person's true nature to see how they react when they take a hit or are put in a ‘bad place'; do they become more determined or do they give up? The façade people put up to project a certain impression is stripped away in such situations and we can for a moment peer inside to see a person's true nature.
To move forward, the emotional side also needs to be addressed. Logic by itself won't cut it if the fears are deep. What these instructors really need is a lot of exposure to fighting, but in a measured way that stretches but doesn't break them psychologically. I must make it clear that we all only have two options in dealing with a fear: facing it or running away from it.
These instructors need to see that doing the latter doesn't remove the fear. It will stay there forever until they face it. They must also understand that dealing with their fear is an opportunity to grow and become stronger. As ancient Chinese sage Lao Tzu pointed out: "Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power."
Graham Kuerschner is a 44-year veteran of the martial arts and can be contacted through his website www.sdtactics.com.au
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